Pulpit Problems

I talk a lot about Mission field mishaps. Because they're funny, and we could all use more joy. But stuff happens, even right here at home. And in light of that, I researched* a few, so that you'd get a laugh too. Some are embarassing, and some are endearing. But they're all uplifting! So, if that soumds good to you, let's get into it!

Lavalier Mic Mishap**

Back in the early 80’s was my 1st experience with a ‘lavalier’ mic! The choir sung and I got up to preach, but I was still getting over the stomach flu!

I felt some moving so I called the choir back to sing and ran out as they sang, “Let the Lord have His Way.” I barely made out of the auditorium. Suddenly, my wife runs into the men’s restroom and said, ‘Your Mic Is Still On!’

Needless to say when I came back to the pulpit, we just dismissed!”

– Robert

The day Santa Died

“I was on staff at a church where, one year, we held a special Christmas family service. We decided to have all of the children sit with their parents during the message. The service went well, and everyone seemed to be enjoying the drama, games, and Christmas music.

Then, it came time for the sermon to begin. With a burst of enthusiasm, my pastor begin his message with the line: ‘I remember how old I was when I found out that Santa wasn’t real…’

He had forgotten the children were in service, and spilled the beans to everyone.

I’ll be honest, it was just a little bit funny to see all of the parents lunge toward their children, covering their ears in a frenzy. For those who weren’t able to distract their little ones, the effects were instant. A few of the kids gazed at the stage in disbelief. Other turned to their parents in deep sadness.

I always remember that service as one of the funniest church moments I’ve ever witnessed.”

– Wade

Righteous Re-write***

In his beautiful book, “I Shall Not Want,” Robert Ketchum tells of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands.A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm.

The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, “The Lord is my shepherd, that’s all I want.”

She bowed again and went and sat down.

That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.

Nervous Newby***

Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd’s attention, said, “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn’t my wife!” The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, “And that woman was my mother!” The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well.

About a week later one of the assistant ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in what was his first sermon to the congregation. As he shyly approached the pulpit one Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. He was notably very nervous and getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” His congregation sat shocked.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds the pastor finally blurted out, “…and I can’t remember who she was!”

*Various sources

**Ministry Pass dot com

***Inspire21