Missionary Mishapaps

The misson field can be a dangerous place. Jesus talked about how we'd be persecuted for His name. And while today that's very real, more common are the hijinks and hilarity that ensue from cultural cofusion. Not sure what I'm talking about? Well, I've researched some examples, so you don't have to. As usual, I'm leaving the original missionaries anonymous, for their benifit. But if you're ready to answer the call, let's get into it!

One day, during our Sunday school lesson, our teacher- a really reserved, quiet man - was teaching a lesson on the keys of the priesthood. Clyde, a fairy new convert,was somewhat exasperated. He shouts out, “What about the keys of life?” Totally taken aback, our teacher goes, “Uh, I’m not totally sure where that’s from. Is there a scripture that talks about that?” Clyde indignantly responds, “No!” to which our teacher, very confused, asks, “Where is it from?”Clyde was totally serious, too! Oh, Clyde. Stevie Wonder’s lyrics aren’t doctrine, close as they may be.

I knew this Elder that went to Sweden. He knew no Swedish, but learned just enough to introduce his senior companion at the door, and then his senior would just take over. Mid-winter, a lady answers, and the new Elder does his thing, but when he turns around, his senior companion is gone! He’d slipped on the ice off the front landing, and down the coal chute into the basement! He came up inside behind the lady.

Serving in Utah, members love watching everything missionaries do. An older woman in one of our wards called the mission to complain that my suit the previous Sunday had been “too tight” and was causing “impure thoughts.” I guess all those dinners made it a little small on me. What a creepy lady.

One time, in Long Beach, near Snoop Dogg’s recording studio, we were filming a music video and my companion and I were riding by on our bikes. My companion’s front tire got stuck in a drainage grate and he flew off and crashed, and then I fell after him. And the entire crew stopped in the middle of a shoot to stare at us. So great.

I hope that blessed you. If so, please consider buying me a cup of coffee, to keep me going.

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