Dynamite Dad Jokes

Scientists have recently observed Walrus tupperware partys. It seems they love a good seal.

Catfishing doesn't make sense to me. How do they hold the poles without thumbs?

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Only one, but the bulb has to want to change.

In New York, someone gets mugged every minute. Poor guy.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Q: What do you call a man with no limbs in the ocean?

A: Bob.

I met a microbiologist yesterday. He was bigger than I expected.

Chicken coops have two doors. With four, they'd be chicken sedans.

I asked the librarian for books on paranoia. He whispered, "They're right behind you!"

My brother asked if I'd heard of Pavlov's dog. I said, it rings a bell.

A doctor gave me a year to live. So I shot him, and the judge gave me 15!

Somone asked for a book on Schrodinger's cat. But I'm not sure where it is!