Devoured by Dad Jokes

Q: How do know that Dracula's sick? A: He keeps coffin.

They just arrested Daffy duck! Apparently, he's been selling quack.

In other news, Texas outlawed round hay bales. Because every cow deserves a good square meal.

My ex critcized my flamingo impression. So I put my foot down.

The cook at the airport quit. He got tired of plane sandwiches.

Sadly, 5 out of every 4 people are bad at math.

the smallest biblical person: Either Knee high Maya, or the shoe hight tribe.

I made six figures last year. Before earning "worst employee" at the toy factory.

Medical science has discovered the leading cause of dry skin. Towels.

I want a job hanging mirrors. It's just something I can see myself doing.

My ex hated my video game obsession. What a dumb thing to Fallout 4.

Someone broke into my house, looking for money. So I helped him look.

I spent a day staring at an orchard. I just don't get this apple watch thing.