Dad Joke Drive-Thru

Jan 9

2 min read

My cousin stole my anti-depressents. I hope he's happy.

I met a guy who lost his tongue in the war. He's never really talked about it.

Nobody cares about Dumbo. He's simply Ear Elephant.

My ex dumped me for a deaf guy. I should have seen the signs.

I asked the librarian for books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"

I used to chew power cords, until My parents grounded me. Now, I conduct myself much better.

Got mom a fridge for her bithday. When she opened it, her face just lit up.

That time I was abducted by mimes... They did unspeakable things.

The police are looking for a man with one eye. But It would probably go faster if they used both.

Isn't it great how Earth rotates? It really makes my day.

Albert Einstein was super smart. But his brother Frank was a total monster.

It used to be that everyone had horses, while only the rich had cars. It's crazy, how the stables have turned.

According to a recent survey, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

I just heard the news! It seems the yardstick factory won't be making them any longer.

A good pun is it's own re-word.

Psychiatrists make no sound in the bathroom. The P is silent.

I saw this Russian comedian talk about their government. I loved his material, but not his execution.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

When I was a kid, my dad would put me in tires and roll me downhill. Those were good years.

My ex said I make too many Star Wars jokes. Divorce is strong with that one.

Out west, I got the smallest soft drinks. In Minnesota.

People who constantly seek validation are super annoying. Am I right?

The worst place I've vacationed called itself The Fidde. It's just a vile inn.

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Classic Comedy